heartbreak (and some small consolation)

The problem with being a knitter is that it makes you very, very picky about buying commercial knits. I appreciate machine knits as much as anyone — I love very fine knits, which are impossible to do by hand — but then I see an aran-weight cashmere blend for $400, and decide that, screw it, I could make that for under $200. (That's coming, by the way. Although probably not until next winter. But it's a layering piece, fisherman's rib, raglan: simplicity itself.) Similarly, when I can't find exactly what I want, I tend to try to figure out if I can design it, and make it myself.

Pregnancy is particularly bad for this. Most clothes don't fit me (even the maternity ones) so if I want something particular, I almost have to make it myself.

For the past three weeks or so, I have been working on a cardigan. Something with a hood, at least fingertip length, and a lot of drape so I can cover up my bump when it gets cold. (This is what is lacking in most of my other cardigans.) Something light and lustrous. The yarn is Manos del Uruguay Fino (yes, again), in a cream with tawny-grey-pink highlights (the colourway is "Ivory Letter Opener"), 2.75mm needles. I decided to knit it from the bottom up, so I made a schematic, I made calculations, I wrote everything out before I started.

Last night, I got to the shoulder seaming and the start of the hood — which, incidentally, was the first time I could try it on with any accuracy.

It was drapey.

It was fingertip length.

It was too small.

The shoulders, back and armscye are good. I just underestimated the amount of "front" I would need for the shawl-like drape. So if it had been a sweater, I would have been fine. There was, in fact, no gauge accident. But the way I'd made the front lapels meant that picking up the stitches and knitting an extra inch or four was out of the question — well, no, but it would look ridiculous. And there's no point in doing all this if it's not going to be perfect.

So, into the frog pond and back to the beginning.

There is some small consolation, though — and it's a good one. I'd originally given myself until the end of November to knit this cardigan, before I would have to move on to Christmas knitting. I'm still going to do that, but the Christmas knitting I've got lined up is this:


I know it doesn't look like much, but wait: this is 100% cashmere (from Handmaiden). I'm going to have to give it away, true. But half the luxury of having something beautifully soft like this is being able to handle it and play with it, and that's the best part of being a maker — I get that part to myself.

weekend(s): dinosaurs! goats! and a baby giraffe

It was the Santa Claus parade in Toronto on Sunday — but alas, not for us. The Spanish Inquisition seemed to like it last year, so we'd planned to go this year — but the forecast kept calling for rain, and she had a not-insignificant cold already, and ... to be honest, Pd and I were just Too Damn Tired. (There is the parade, which is entertainment in and of itself, but you have to get there early to get a good view, and the Spanish Inquisition is not the patient kind of toddler. If such a thing even exists.) So we ran errands and had an easy day of it, and I am trying not to feel guilty.

After all, on Saturday we did do this:


Her first trip to the museum, specifically to see dinosaurs, and she got to play archaeologist. To be entirely honest, I don't think she knows what that means, but she did seem to enjoy it. She knows that word "museum" from Olivia, but she thought that she would also get to see baby horses, which ... not so much.

She probably thought this because this is what we did the weekend before last:


The Royal Winter Fair, where she got to feed goats and, yes, pat horses. (I think they may have been ponies, actually. Or, at least, very small horses.)

And the weekend before that:


We saw the new baby giraffe at the zoo. (I say "new." It's taller than Pd, who is six feet tall. I suppose that's small for a giraffe.)

So it's not as though we're depriving her of experiences, or of things that she enjoys. It's not difficult, actually, to find fun things with her; the problem is that one have to keep finding or doing them, and at some point I need a nap.

straights vs circulars

We had a cold snap yesterday! It's still cold today, but yesterday it was positively winter — the temperature actually went into the negative and everyone scurried around in winter gear: coats with fur-lined hoods up, chunky scarfs, mittens and boots and bright red cheeks from the wind.

Of course, by March this selfsame temperature will feel positively balmy, but we're still in the onset of winter, here, so everyone is bundling up for the long haul.

I had been delaying knitting a new neckwarmer/cowl for the Spanish Inquisition. (Her daycare requires it, in that they prohibit scarves — a strangulation hazard. I'd like to tell them that my daughter is hardly Isabella Duncan, and there's a subtle difference between a short chunky knit and flowing silk beneath spoked tires, but I doubt anyone will listen.) I'd meant to knit it out of Dream in Color Starry, or some other kind of sparkly yarn, but I hadn't had time to buy it yet — so I kept putting it off.

Until it got cold, and I felt guilty that her neck would be unprotected. So I grabbed some leftover baby alpaca sport (which, don't let the name fool you, is actually a bulky yarn) and knit one up right quick. Because time was of the essence — I had about two hours to knit the whole thing — I decided to knit it on my 6mm straights instead of DPNs.

(I wish I'd taken a picture for you. But I finished it and went straight to bed, and now it lives exclusively at daycare, so I lost my chance. Just imagine a purple tube in 2x2 rib about the size of a toddler's neck.)

And ... it turns out that straights are so cumbersome! I never used to think this before. I learned to knit on straights — these particular ones, in fact. And I'd loved them. I only stopped using them because I've been knitting things that are bigger than I'd feel comfortable putting on a straight needle, and Pd had given me a set of Addi interchangeable circulars a year or two ago. But now, I kept noticing how the straights would bang into my elbow. Or the table. Or how I would have to really arc my knitting wide when I changed sides. And heavy! And I would think, really? I actually preferred this?

I will probably still use my straights when I can, or when it's convenient to do so. I want to rediscover my old habit. I have some lovely bamboo and rosewood pairs, the latter of which are so lovely that I will actually pause my knitting just to look at them. They're warm, and supple, and feel so much more personal than aluminum. And I firmly believe that tools get better when you use them.

All that being said, this is my current knitting obsession:


Manos del Uruguay Fino (yes, again), in "Ivory Letter Opener," on, yes, Addi Interchangeables. I had something very specific in mind, so I'm designing it myself. Miles of stockinette — again — but broken up just enough by the texture of the seed stitch. Creamy and lovely for cold days and nights.

(The picture at the very top is technically Christmas knitting, which I have abandoned in favour of the Manos right now. Luckily there is still some time. I loved the gradients so much when I spread the skein out that I had to take a picture. It is SweetGeorgia's tough love sock in "Shipwreck," and it knits up in a reasonable stripey fashion.)